Sunday, May 29, 2011

Post traumatic stress

I have heard of this phrase before and I did believe it was a real thing but I have never experienced it. That is until yesterday. If you don't remember back in December I was in a car accident. It was just bad enough to make me jumpy now and again while driving. Yesterday we had a wonderful day spent with friends and family. We drove up to Salt Lake and had a fun lunch and afternoon hanging out with my good friend from high school, Kelsey, for the afternoon. Then we went over to Wheelers Farm and had a birthday party for our nephew Cannon who turned three. The weather was so so all day, turning to light rain at the party. After we went back to Abe's house (Cannon's Dad, Phils brother) and played some games. When we left around 9:00 it was pouring rain. Driving on the freeway in the rain in not one of my favorite thing to do, thankfully Phil was doing the driving. We were just past the point of the mountain and I was starting to tensing up, double checking if everyone was in their seatbelt correctly. Then we hit some sort of pot hole or crack in the road that had filled with water. I lost it! Major flash back came into my head of hitting those other cars, hearing my kids crying and seeing their faces that were so scared. I tensed up so much that I got an instant headache, I also felt like I couldn't breath deep enough. I kept seeing the accident over and over in my head again like the day that it happened with added images of what could happen there with my whole family on the freeway in the rain. The crying came when Phil asked if I was OK, then Parker and Everett asked if I was OK. They were are so sweet with concern. I know I wasn't in that big of an accident but it can really rattle you. We all arrived home save and sound but I was exhausted from the experience. It eased up and almost completely faded away once the rain started to get lighter and all but stop 10 minute later. I do not care to repeat that experience and I do worry about this winter but for now I won't think about it and look forward to summer (if it ever gets here). On a funny note I told Phil that when I am an old lady he is going to have to drive me around because I want to give up on driving sometimes and moments like this speed that thinking up.
On a completely different note last sunday I taught relief society for the first time and really liked it. I was surprised I felt very comfortable asking everyones questions and getting their feed back. There is much to be said about being properly prepared in all ways, materially and spiritually. I received several complements of shock that I had never taught before, one woman said I was born to teach, that threw me. I am grateful for the experience and look forward to the next time, I was only a sub last sunday.


Abe Fox said...

Thanks for coming to Cannon's party!! And sorry to hear about the scary-moment/headache incident.

Crystyne said...

How scary! I hope you can find a way to work through your anxiety. And I am sure you did a great job teaching, I always enjoyed your comments in class and learned a lot from you.

Eco-Mom said...

We were in a car accident a few years ago and our car was totaled. We were fine, but I still have dreams and flashbacks and get very tense if a car comes out from a side street too quickly. I'm a non-driver who was trying to learn to drive at the time, so it was a major setback for me. Thanks for sharing about your moment. It happens to the best of us.


Anonymous said...

Yikes...scary! You've had enough car accidents girl! Take it easy...deep breaths and memorized scriptures help me when I am anxious.

camfox said...

I've also experienced the jumpiness after getting in car accidents. (But not as intense as yours.) Not fun.

I loved hearing about how well your R.S. lesson went. Doesn't that feel so good? Everytime I have a successful teaching experience, I feel so much gratitude to the Lord for helping me through it. It's a great feeling, isn't it!? That's awesome Katie. Wish I could have been there when you were teaching.